Disrespect

The Number 1 Deal Killer…

In my previous blog I talked about the Deal-Killers in a relationship. There are many that come out right up front, appearance, personality, world view, etc. But there are hidden deal-killers that don’t surface right away and the problem with this is that you could be totally vested in the relationship before this comes out. When it does, you must deal with it – unless you like being walked on. Disrespect is first on my list because it’s the number one deal-killer for me. I can put up with a lot of issues in a relationship but not this one.

I had a girlfriend that I was with for over three years. The first year was fine so I was totally committed to the relationship.

Then things started to change…

She started treating me like I was her child. She didn’t listen as well as she did before and it got worse from there. In time, everything I said was wrong. It didn’t matter what we were talking about…she never agreed with me, she always took exception. This became unnerving. I could say the sky was blue and she’d tell me why it wasn’t. Each of the things I’ve mentioned are to me, disrespectful but what caused us to break up was when she talked down to me in a condescending tone. And she did this a lot.

Round and Round…

We broke up maybe 6 or 8 times over the next couple of years and it was always over the same thing…that disrespectful condescending tone in her voice. The final blow came when I came down with Covid. It was a mild case and I quarantined for the required days. I was out of quarantine on Christmas Eve. She came over to drop off some goodies to eat and when I came out to meet her at her car she started acting weird and cold toward me. I asked her what was wrong and she said, “WHAT PART OF YOU NEED TO WEAR A MASK DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND?” That was it. This had gone on enough. I texted her about an hour later and told her that I was sorry (I’m always the one to apologize) and had I known this was going to upset you I would have worn a mask. Then I said that this is the same thing that comes up, your disrespectful tone. You’d think that she would start her reply with something like, “I’m sorry I got upset but…” But nothing. No apology. To her it was all about what I did wrong. Who can live this way? I Can’t.

In the end…

There are a lot of good things in the Bible regarding relationships…don’t tune me out, I won’t get religious on you. The Apostle Paul wrote the book of Ephesians and in one part he speaks to married couples and says, “Husbands, love your wives and give your life for her like Christ did and died for all of us. Wives, respect your husbands.

It’s interesting to me that he tells men to love and lay down their lives for their spouse but he tells the wives to respect their husbands. Maybe there’s something to this…

In the end, I told her that I treated her like a queen and she treated me like the help.

What would you do?

Have you experienced a relationship like this? If so, how did you handle it? Did you work through it, give up and let her treat you like a red-headed stepchild, or did you walk out?

Let me know your thoughts. I’d like to think I’m not the only one to have these issues.

Till next time…