The Deal killers…
Whether you’ve found yourself in the dating pool recently or have been doing this a while (and would like to get off this merry-go-round), learning to recognize the deal killers up front an onward into the relationship is critical to keep you and your partner from the heartache that will inevitably come.
We all hope to find the right one. The one that sweeps you off your feet and brings out the best in you as opposed to the one that brings out your worst and then sweeps you out the door. That broom works both ways.
Let me put it another way. Just as in chemistry there are elements that when combined produce a favorable result as in ordinary table salt (sodium-chloride), there are other combinations of the same two elements with different elements that can produce a toxic result. So what am I saying? Simply this. Some combinations of two people in a relationship thrive while either one of those two same people with someone else can be toxic. It is therefore good to recognize whether or not you have the right partner. Part of that recognition is what I call (music please) the deal-killers.
The Deal Killers
Some deal-killers are easily recognizable because they become apparent rather quickly when you meet someone for the first time. They smoke, they have piercings or tattoos on their face, they use foul language, or their world view is from the “other side” to name a few. These may not be deal killers to you but they will usually prevent a second date from me.
There are other deal killers that are more deadly and not easily recognizable until you’ve been in a relationship for some time. Anyone can put on a good show for a while but sooner or later, the deal killers come out. When they do, you need to take a good look at your relationship and decide if it’s worth trying to make it work. And you should at least try right? Maybe so, maybe no. Most of the time you’re just delaying the inevitable – because it’s a deal killer.
Here are some hidden deal killers that can eventually surface and can shipwreck your relationship:
- Disrespect
- Jealousy
- Condescension
- Narcissism
- Infidelity
What’s interesting about these is that depending on the combination of two people any of these can manifest. You may be extremely jealous with one person and not jealous at all with another person. It’s still the same you but in a different combination you can be the deal killer.
What do you do?
Well that’s up to you. You can stay in a relationship that will never work but I have to ask, “why?” You and your mate are better off by far if you recognize these deal killers and bring them out into the open where you can discuss them. As long as they stay buried in the relationship you may as well be buried too.
Communication is the key
You have to address the deal killers in your relationship before they kill you and that nice person you’re with who isn’t right for you. Communicate. It’s hard I know – after all, I’m male and we don’t communicate well. Sadly, a lot of women don’t either. Chances are your deal killer is going to end your relationship sooner or later so make it easier on yourself learn how to say goodby when it’s time.
In my next blog I’m going to unpack the number one deal killer that I experienced – and I will run if this happens again.
What about you? Are there some deal killers you’ve experienced? I’d love to hear from you. Leave a comment below…and thanks!
